( magnus closes his eyes a moment when alec leans his forehead against his own, his drink still held at his leg but entirely forgotten for now. he's thinking about what alec is saying, about his own fear since he brought up the subject. that this might be too hard and alec might choose to leave. he has more faith in alec than he's had in anyone in decades, but this fear stems from centuries of occurrences, from a life time with his mother's suicide and his father's words in his ears and a society that spat them back at him.

one thing is very clear to magnus, and he says it quietly, voice hoarse. )

You're not just another mortal, and you never will be. Never, Alec. ( the thought is laughable. alec changed his life. alec brought him a key he thought had been lost to too many broken hearts.

he opens his eyes and reaches to touch alec's cheek gently. ) This, us, it's not going to change for me. I told you what I was afraid of. I live with the knowledge my fear will come true. ( it's hard to be so honest, to bare himself like this, but it's always been worthwhile to do it with alec, even at times he needed a little push. ) But I'm also afraid I'll lose you before our time is truly up. That it'll be too much, when you get older, and I don't.